Saturday, March 26, 2005

Notice To Hawaii Teachers: No Obesity, Please

The Aloha State has always been noted for doing things a little bit differently. Perhaps this is so because of the combination of the agreeable weather, the relaxed lifestyle, and the friendly people that call this island paradise home. Here is just one more example:
A state lawmaker has suggested Hawaii's public schoolteachers be forced to weigh in as part of the fight against obesity in students. A resolution in the state house would create an obesity database among teachers. State Rep. Rida Cabanilla introduced a resolution requesting the Board of Education establish an obesity database among public schoolteachers.
This smacks of Big Brother watching us. Only now he will also be taking notes:
"You cannot keep a kid to a certain standard that you yourself is not willing to keep," Cabanilla said. The resolution calls for all public schoolteachers to weigh in every six months. The measure calls for the education and health departments to formulate an obesity standard and appropriate measures for teachers who cannot meet the standard.
Here is an idea: Let's apply Cabanilla's reasoning to politicians. A blue-ribbon panel of citizens could develop a standard for an acceptable number of lies that a politician is permitted to tell in a six month period. Then we'll evaluate each politician by the number of lies that he or she utters over the specified amount of time.

If a politician tells more lies than is acceptable under the Professional Politicians Standard for Lying and Distortions of the Truth, (PPSLDT) an "appropriate measure" could then be applied to him or her for the purpose of modifying this undesirable behavior. A number of effective measures are available, including electric shock therapy.

Actually, Cabanilla would rather bring her scales and calipers into the home of each family that has school-age children:

"As a matter of fact, we should start at home, but since the Legislature has no way to regulate homes, we can at least start in school," Cabanilla said. "And teachers have a lot of impact to these students."
Not surprisingly, the teachers union (and we suspect almost everyone else) is against the notion. Roger Takabayashi, President of the Hawaii State Teachers Association, said, "I think it's quite offensive. I don't think it will lead us anywhere. It's not going to benefit the children necessarily."

We here at the 'Wonks couldn't agree more.

Education Intelligence Agency

Update: Number 2 Pencil weighs in on the controversy.
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