Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Surprise! New York Times Columnist Maureen Dowd Hates Christmas

Maureen Dowd
In her latest column (published Sunday) over at The New York Times, columnist Maureen Dowd promises her readers that if she hears "Frosty The Snowman" one more time, she will rip his frozen face off.

Even though I agree that certain Christmas carols can be a little much, I disagree with Dowd's statement that Christmas music sends one into a "Pavlovian shopping trance, buying stupid things like the Robosapien."

In typically eastern-liberal-elitist fashion, Dowd actually infers that Christmas has now been reduced to some sort of annual ritual in which "ordinary Americans" are manipulated by greedy retailers into bankrupting themselves in pursuit of the perfect gift.

Of course, "the better sort" (as they view themselves) feel that they are "above" Christmas, and will continue to sneer at any semblance of the traditional Christmas observances that so many American love.

In her article, Dowd whines:

"Exacerbated by the stress I feel when I think of all the money I've spent on lavishing boyfriends with presents over the year, guys who are now living with other women who are enjoying my lovingly picked out presents which I'm no doubt still paying for in credit card interest charges."
Here at the 'Wonks, we would like to help Ms. Dowd assuage the "exacerbation" that she feels because she has spent so much of her money buying gifts for ingrates. She can do so by looking in the 'Wonks sidebar, finding our email, and sending a large certified check to an address that will be furnished soon after receipt of her letter-of-interest.

Dowd will then be gratified by the knowledge that she sent a pittance of her (probably) substantial cash reserve to a perfect stranger in the "true spirit of the season." Be assured that we will put her gift to good use.

Merry Christmas, Maureen.

Update: (12/08) Jeff, over at Beautiful Atrocities, has an excellent remedy for Maureen's frustrations. Moxie looks at Dowd's problem from a religious point of view. The Pirate is sponsoring a contest to see which lucky (or unfortunate) person will make the supreme sacrifice of marrying Dowd for the good of the Nation.